What women want?
When Freud died at the age of 83, he was still questioning what women really want? My complete thirty-year search for the secrets of love, affection, emotions, and wishes has brought me to a resolute answer, not only about what they want, but also where the answer i.e. the solution lies…
Problem of women’s desires and expectations is not related only to men, but in principle the problem is in the “emotional hunger and thirst”, primarily established in emotional anthropocentricity. We expect our parents, children, friends, men to respond to our very high emotional standards, and it is essentially impossible!
Thus “love yourself” truism ensued. It is on its abstractness and vagueness that centuries of grief, disappointment and broken female illusions of love and happiness have patched up! The question is how to realize it, “to love yourself” when your emotional resource remains thirsty and loud since you need emotional interaction, or what Alan Watts ingeniously would say – we cannot kiss our own lips and when we love ourselves we please ourselves by loving other things of nature, shopping, travel, massage, food … so loving yourself often is the sum of making the things we love … and honestly – a human away from not always present maternal instinctive unconditional emotional commitment, which is biologically determined and saints who have reached the height of unconditional love by a lot of suffering and thus have entered the new level of emotional non-personality – cannot get the desired emotional response. First of all, because man is a creature that longs to be loved, but de facto does not know to love – i.e. there is no resource for it beyond the duration and intensity confined by instinct – keeping the species and projected female illusion of a great romantic love – and here comes the problem – because longing to be loved is not appeased even after the fulfillment of the biological point of species renewal.
Here comes a deep and authentic feeling of cosmic “unwantedness” that brings multiple patterns of misunderstandings with it, only repeated and transmitted from generation to generation – partner betrayal, partner’s coldness, absence of parental love, neglect and children’s egoism, betrayal and egoism by friends, new and new relations like a search, frivolity by close people, etc. – confronted with the spiritual hypothesis that only God can love us the way we would like it, we face shyly with the fact that we do not know and could not love God, aside from the rare examples of epiphany raids of fervent transcendental love by those who sought the perfect love here – that 21st century ideal of serving God and its new-age gurus aware of this same problem brought the imperative of loving oneself – but in spite the unison choral repetition that it is the essence of all the essences – whom it has truly fulfilled except the narcissi who already had that potential through the renewed self-love? And then, what is the solution?
What is the answer to this central question of the emotional thirst – to that terrible affliction of a permanent love hunger that women especially face since they are programmed that emotion is the central element of their being, while in man – it is more or less retained in the coordinates of his social ambition and sexual urges. We know that testosterone destroys neurons for emotions and what’s left to a woman who does not want to become an “emotional man”? To a woman who is not turned toward social measurement and satisfying the urges or who does not found herself in the temporary peace – social security and the role of a cherished sexist object on the other side? What about women who first and above all really want love? Not only emotional anesthesia, but also an intense or weak emotional narcotic?? The solution, before anything else, is in defocusing the emotional anthropocentricity, which first of all would mean seeking love where it really is – in Gaia’s hugs – in animals, plants, stars, water, earth, in renewed contact with Gaia as a divine mediator. Rousseau’s return to nature that is experiencing a new-age revival is not a return to the primary community – it is in the first place a return to the embrace of those who are able to love … that’s why the majority of unmarried, married, divorced women find a more complete and filled emotional relation with their dog, cat, horse, in their garden or in contact with water rather than with their husband or gay substitution. The exit of anthropomorphic emotional addiction is repeatedly releasing / it forces us to stop searching for water in the desert and moves the interpersonal tensions over unsatisfied emotions to another field! It is too much for many souls eager for love, since the programs of desires and longing, projections and expectations related to anthropocentric emotions are overwhelming – they are part of the collective unconscious – we are permanently attacked by the same stereotypes about “dreams of happiness”. Well, regardless the fact that uneducated world laughs at them, these millionaires and celebrities who go around and hugs trees are not crazy. They lie on the ground and on the sand to fix the magnetism, cultivate gardens – recently it has been proven that a bacterium raising the hormone of happiness is present in that ground and dirt… all in all, before she succeeds in achieving a stable and happy relationship, the woman today obviously must satisfy some of her emotional urge by hugging dogs and trees that has proven to be more successful than psychiatric therapies … therefore the elimination of emotional anthropocentricity and reprogramming of destructive fairy-tale programs are the beginning of every successful relationship with her husband.