Each success story is different, but the common thing about all of them is that they are the result of someone’s dedication, unconditional love and support.

The TV reporter Branka Kostikj Markovikj is a familiar face in Macedonian media within the field of culture, and a synonym of television nurture of true musical values. She has been working as a Musical editor at the TV station Telma over the past nineteen years, and has a Master degree in musical sciences. She says that she has passed through every scale of musical education (which she started at the age of 6) and has only one thing left to finish, which is the PhD defense, being postponed because of other more important life events. The defense could wait, but Marko couldn’t, because right then, four years ago it was the right moment for him to be born (she laughs). Her life story may seem as unbelievable to some of us, but when true love comes nothing can stand in the way…not age gaps, not long distance, not even the long working hours of the partners in two different states. They have been together over these past thirteen years, 10 of which in a harmonious marriage.

I dreamt of becoming a mum

They have never been particularly burdened by the question of expanding their family, and have never felt pressured by anyone for that matter, which doesn’t mean that they never wanted to have a baby. For them, everything was going exceptionally well in their carriers, for him as a professor but also as a pianist, composer and a producer (in that period he created many hits for established performers on the Macedonian musical scene like Toshe Proeski, Carolina, Kristina, Biba, Gjoko Taneski, he is also a complete author of UNICEF’s official anthem …), and her as a musical editor, but also an author and host of the musical show “Music”. At that time, Branka also got the opportunity to teach ethnomusicology at the newly opened University of Shtip so both of them were a part of the machine in a dynamic which was unstoppable during those years.

„I dreamt of becoming a mum, especially in 2006 when my sister had her baby boy Boris. I spent all of my free time with him, and today he is my weakness. I expected to have a baby spontaneously. But the years were passing by and at one particular moment after three years of hard work both in Skopje and Shtip, I felt physically exhausted and could barely manage the enormous physiological burden. I was used to education of high quality and world standards, but at the moment when I was supposed to transfer the knowledge to my students, I had to make compromises. In the race for bigger number of students and adaptation to the credit-transfer educational system intended for everyone, not only the best, the standards were getting lower and lower. I was learning notes when I was only 6 years old, and now, students were learning notes at an academic level. Choreographers were compared to choreologists, and the dancers with theoretician. The situation was so frustrating that I brought a decision to quit, but the stress took its toll. I told Mladen that I wasn’t feeling well at all, and that I had no strength, so I decided to see a doctor. Finally, I stopped racing against time, and decided to take actions with regard to expanding our family. I made an appointment with Dr. Slobodan Lazerevski to have a regular gynecological examination, but it turned out that the regular examination became a bit irregular”.

She had never before experienced any gynecological problems, and now she got the PAP smear result positive for HPV- Cin 3, so emergency biopsy was scheduled which showed “cancer in situ”, which was totally removed by Dr. Lazarevski by laser conization. His expertise and precision resulted with minimal removal of the cervix of the uterus leaving a chance for Branka to become a mother.

Marko was in my uterus exactly on my birthday. That embryo, today is a four year old boy, and my best birthday present ever

„My story of motherhood, though complicated and full of challenges, stressful moments and fears, is generally very beautiful and happy. I know a lot of women whose struggles lasted for more than ten years, so it would be ungrateful for me to complain. For me, everything happened so fast… “.

New obstacle on the way of having a baby

After having surpassed this first serious health obstacle, Mladen told Branka that at that moment there was nothing more important than her health, and that he would continue to love her even if they never have a child. It was exactly that unconditional love and support that Branka says was the outmost important element in everything that happened next. Considering the age of Branka at that time (39) and Mladen’s (49), doctor Lazarevski recommended to start preparations for in-vitro treatment. The test results revealed that the husband, who as a citizen of Belgrade had passed all the stressful and harmful bombarding of the city in 1999, had very bad semen material. This came as a big surprise since he already had a 19 year old son from his first marriage, so he never expected to have any problems of that nature. The Urologist- Dr. Aleksandar Mickovski recommended for them to have an operation of tissue extraction in order to have a higher quality semen material and increase the percentage of probability for fertilization. However, the results from the procedure were far from encouraging, but still both partners never lost hope. They even showed a great sense of humor and positive thinking while approaching every problem.
„Doctor Mickovski was shocked from our jokes on personal account, and told us that he experiences very sad situations in his office with tears and moans, but never laughter. He was especially surprised to hear that we are very serious about the things we talked about while laughing. I will never forget the look on his face when we said “ok, if this doesn’t work we will try the procedure with a donor from the Scandinavian sperm bank used at Acibadem Sistina Hospital and we will have a blond baby with blue eyes like mine” says Branka. „And if that doesn’t work, we will certainly make some child happy by giving him loving parents and a place to call home“.

Ready for battle

After this, everything was happening so fast… Though negative, the experience with the CIN results had a very positive influence on everything which followed. Branka was happy for being healthy and because of this she was very motivated and prepared to overcome any problem. With reduced cervix, ovarian endometriosis and aged 39 (and Mladen 49), as well as bad semen material, the chances of fertilization were very small, but the faith and mood at a very high level.

„Doctor Lazarevski advised us to start the in-vitro procedures immediately. We weren’t financially ready, but I decided to start having hormone injections, hoping that we would somehow manage to settle the charges. And so it happened. We realized that we had no chance to proceed with the formalities with the National Healthcare Fund, so we looked for help with our closest family and friends as well as the credit banks. We knew that sooner or later we would pay back everything we owed. That was how, unprepared and prepared at the same time, with all negative aspects encountered along the way like the small number of extracted follicles and fertilized eggs; I got pregnant with the first attempt. Believe it or not, it happened on my 39th birthday on January 18 (a date which could not be fixed) when they inserted the fertilized eggs in my uterus. I brought a cake, and Dr. Lazarevski gave me the best birthday present I could wish for- Marko! “.

Each stage of the pregnancy was a new challenge, new barrier to jump across

„I could barely sleep during the fifteen days while waiting for the pregnancy test results. I will remember one scene for as long as I shall live with the wonderful biologist Natasha Chokrevska- Zografska who I met in the hallway. She told me that she would personally go get me the results, and she left with a smile on her face. Smiling again when she came with the results I could hardly catch my breath from excitement. My happiness was to the roof. Still, there were a lot of temptations, fears and moments of joy, as well as annoying questions I made constantly like: “Are you sure that everything is ok?” But on the other hand, besides the worries I had, I was wondering where I got all that courage. In the past, when I was going to hospitals and performing ordinary blood analyses I was always afraid and felt as though I was going to lose consciousness, and when I started to undergo in-vitro treatment all of the fear was gone, and I wasn’t afraid of anything. I was doing injections by myself, I was indifferent about cannulas, anesthesia or pain. This extraordinary energy which women have while struggling to make their dreams come true is only the result of the unconditional dedication to become a mother. I never thought that I could be so disciplined and that I would follow meticulously every advice from Dr. Lazarevski. In the past I wasn’t sitting still even while I was sleeping and now I was resting and putting every other thing aside, focusing on the baby who was growing inside of me. I learned that the success of the procedure depended on discipline, patience, rest and the support from my close once, the belief in my doctor, positive thinking, and of course, music. Even the nurses remember me from the time I was hospitalized when I was listening to Bach, Mozart, Keith Jarrett, and Jan Garbarek on my lap top. At home, they remember me while lying on the bed and cheering for Novak Djokovic – I was cheering for his victory and he was helping me fulfill my spare time with happiness. This is why I would recommend to every pregnant woman who should rest, to do whatever makes her happy and peaceful. However, we should all know that life can be ruthless, and every now and then unpleasant things happen, even horrible things. At the most critical time of my pregnancy my mother had to go through a very difficult operation and just before my delivery Mladen’s cousin who was like a brother to him died suddenly. We have to do everything in our power to overcome all of the obstacles with every mechanism possible. There is no universal prescription but sharing experiences and taking advice can be very helpful. This is why I want to share my story. I hope that at least one woman with a situation similar to mine while struggling to have a baby, will read this story and will be encouraged to overcome the problems and to endure in her struggle with infertility. Women should not be sad or discouraged. On the contrary, they should learn how to talk their problems through, and they should find strength to find a solution and say “I am not the only one with this kind of problems”. I am thankful for every piece of advice and every shared experience. That is absolutely priceless. I am shocked to realize that in-vitro fertilization is still a taboo. People are silent and afraid of asking for help. The institutions are bombarding us with conservative campaigns instead of showing us ways of facing problems and health prevention, introducing treatment methods and informing citizens that world renowned experts like Dr. Lazarevski work in our country and have incredible success rate statistics to prove their work. Every state should make life easier for its citizens and especially women- for those who decide to be housewives and others who decide to become mothers. There are also those who do their best to balance these options and try to compromise between working and having children. All of us, who are public figures, have to have a sense of social responsibility. I consider this to be our duty. Silence isn’t always as valuable as gold, as we would say here in Macedonia. For many people, the experiences we share have vital importance“.

Despite all of the problems, Branka says that her pregnancy was beautiful, and she felt as good as she did because of all the support from her family and friends. She says that this was a very successful, and highly synchronized life project in which enormous medical and family engagement was invested.

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“I realized how important the support was, mostly coming from Mladen, but also from my parents, my sister,her housband, my nephew, my TV station Thelma. I laid in bed for whole 8 monts and I only got up to go to the toilet. One person was cooking for me, another one was handeling my my sick leave documents and administrative obligations, and someone else was always on call whenever I needed to go to the hospital to have an examination. When Mladen was abroad, my parents stayed at my house, and my nephew (then five) used to sing to the baby every time he came to visit me. Being a bit older pregnant woman, I use to go to a lot of tests and physical examinations. In the second month of my pregnancy I used to bleed constantly, and during the last month of my pregnancy I used to have very frequent contractions, so I was admitted to the emergency departments regularly, every week. From the very beginning of my pregnancy Dr. Lazarevski doctor told me that he is certain that my baby boy will be tall like his father and that I would most probably not be able to endure until the last days of pregnancy because of my small constitution and shortened cervix. And so it happened, but everything went very well thanks to the expertise of the doctor who predicted the critical moments. The doctor timely performed the cerclage, I did all the necessary examinations, I was suggested to do, and did amniocentesis, I got injections for maturation of the baby’s lungs, I also performed three-dimensional echosonographic examinations, all in order to determine the right time for delivery. Of course a lot of things could be predicted but not the exact time of delivery. The day that Dr. Lzarevski should have gone on vacation, I had strong contractions so he removed the cerclage and handed over my case to the experienced Dr. Jovkovski for monitoring. Dr. Jovkovski gave me enormous moral support and encouraged me to endure a couple more hours in order to give a chance for the second dose of maturation injections for Marko’s lungs. When my baby could not wait any longer, Dr. Jovkovski transferred my case to the wonderful Dr. Jovan Kostadinov who delivered my long waited Marko with caesarean section. This is how, on August 26, 2011, 15 minutes before 6 pm Marko was born, six weeks prematurely, but scored with a high-grade and surrounded by joy and happiness from all of us “.

Marko was born 2 kg and 600 grams and Branka gained only 4 kg during her entire pregnancy. Today he is four years old and is mum and dad’s hero in their story. Everyone says he is exactly like his Dad, but has the sweet dimpled cheeks like Mom. He has all of his curiosity, stubbornness and musicality like both his parents but times four. They are both equally devoted to his growing up, but they get enormous support from all of the loved ones. Since recently he started going to kindergarten in order to get used to socializing and get a sense of the real world. Of course, he will always be the center of Mom and Dad’s world. They say that they only wish for him to be healthy, honest, good and happy, and whether he will become a musician or not, is absolutely irrelevant.